


The Big Flub

by antioedipus



Series: A Different World [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Neji contending with fuckery, Unplanned Pregnancy, minor SasuHina, minor ShikaIno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25936204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antioedipus/pseuds/antioedipus
Summary: Sai finds out what it feels like to be a father, Tenten listens to men talk about her pregnancy, Sasuke doesn't want to come off leave and Neji deals with staffing issues.“We didn’t do this on purpose,” Tenten says quietly. Neji laughs.“I could tell by the green look on Sai’s face at the hospital that you and Sai weren’t thinking, at all.”Everyone ends up happy in this one.
Relationships: Sai/Tenten (Naruto)
Series: A Different World [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895671
Comments: 14
Kudos: 24





	The Big Flub

“Well, you’re standing on my sternum/ don’t you climb down, darling”

Bon Iver, “Towers”

It has been a draining three weeks. They stretched for so long that it made Tenten itch and Sai want to gauge his eyes out. Sasuke’s paternity leave and Neji’s inability to accept any of his suggested replacements mean that Sai and Tenten have been run ragged. A whole three weeks in a tent with Neji has left them both in a _mood_. Usually, Neji would give them some time to themselves, but this past mission was unrelenting. Add twenty-one days without hot food or a proper shower or sex, and well, Sai and Tenten would have mutinied if Neji had pushed the mission any further.

Not actually. But they would have fantasized about it.

Neji lets them go as soon as they are back in the village. He was probably sick of being with the two of them. _Go do whatever you two do together_ , Neji drawled _take the day off, on me_. Tenten had rolled her eyes as Sai dragged her home.

It’s 10:30 AM. Normally, Sai would want to go pick up his cat from Hinata. But as soon as his hand is in hers, Sai decides that his cat can wait. He doesn’t tell Tenten, but she clues in when they head straight to their place instead of turning down the street that would take them to Hinata and Sasuke’s apartment. Tenten smiles and presses herself against him, making Sai walk faster. They don’t say anything, because they don’t have to.

Tenten pulls him up the stairs, and he hovers, arms crossed, waiting for her to fiddle with the lock. There is a trick to opening it, something that they both deeply loathe in that moment. “We’re moving,” she mutters, and he hums in response. When they finally get in, throw their bags onto the ground and take their shoes off, they sigh and look at each other.

And then, Tenten smiles with her cute teeth and Sai remembers why they came here first. He reaches for her face, and when he kisses her, she sighs and steps towards him. She wraps her arms around his waist, and she smiles into his mouth. It’s been frustrating, not being able to touch each other like this.

“We should quit Anbu,” she says, and he laughs.

“Why?” he asks. She shrugs.

“We could make out at least once a week,” she kisses him, but deeper this time. “Maybe more,” she mutters. Sai grins and pulls away.

“Maybe?” he asks. She squirms away, and pulls her shirt up over her heard, with her sports bra.

“Definitely,” she says, and he takes his shirt off as she fiddles with her pants.

They both smell but it doesn’t matter since it is just the two of them and it’s not as bad now that their clothes are off. Tenten stretches her arms up in the air, and Sai doesn’t hide the fact that he watches her. Before they got together, and for the first few weeks after, he would try to hide how much time he spent looking at her. As if it were a shameful secret.

Until she told him that she likes how he looks at her. _It makes me feel special_ , she had said. Now, he never averts his gaze. She opens her arms to him, and he decides to throw her over his shoulder and just go to the bedroom. Tenten grunts. “Both my legs work fine.” Sai shrugs.

“Don’t you like it when I turn your world upside down?’ he deadpans. Tenten scoffs.

“I didn’t mean it like this!” She says, and he doesn’t respond. Instead, he places her on the bed. He laughs at her frown.

“Did that really upset you?” he asks. Tenten shrugs.

“Maybe I wanted to have sex on the floor, or against the wall, or on the couch,” she sits up on her elbows, “and you didn’t let me decide.” Sai goes to hover over her, smiling.

“We’ve been sleeping in a tent for three weeks,” he replies, “I thought you would be more comfortable here.” Sai sits up, as if he were to stand. “I will carry you back out there, if you want.” She sits up and shakes her head.

“No,” she leans forward to kiss him. Sai smiles as she pulls back. “I just want to be with you.”

“Only me?” he asks, covering her as she lays down. She nods.

“It’s all I think about,” she says. Sai thinks about how pretty her mouth is; it’s a little pink shell.

“I can’t be your only thought,” he replies, kissing her chin. She sighs and presses her tummy against his.

“If I could, I would only think about you for the rest of my days.” Tenten knows all of this is impractical and contrary to the nature of love, but she likes to tell Sai how much she cares. He responds to praise, and all of this is true: he is the one being she wants to think about all the time. It’s dumb and not very feminist and really, goes against every core value of hers. Nonetheless, when it’s just the two of them like this, it’s all she wants. To be alone with him forever.

She cracks herself open, and she kisses his chin as he glides in. Tenten feels her throat lock up, and for a moment, Sai thinks he has done something wrong.

“Ten?” he asks.

“Yes?” she replies.

“You okay?” he is still inside her, his hand running up the back of her thigh. Tenten nods, exhaling.

“I just feel a lot,” she replies. She always feels tender when they are like this. Soft, vulnerable. Sai looks into her eyes and nods, beginning to move inside of her.

Tenten likes making out with Sai while he is inside of her. It makes her feel completely open, like all her insides are turned out. It’s kind of a gross thought to have, but here she is, her tongue in his mouth while he is inside her. It’s a loop, a circuit that connects the two of them.

Sai has a vision for how he wants this to go down. He wants to go slow and hard, to make up for every moment from the last three weeks when he wanted to touch her. He sighs into her mouth and thinks about the way she makes him feel like he is flying, even when it’s deep and slow and hopelessly earthbound.

She arches her back to meet him, and he can tell that she wants him to go faster. But Sai wants to be slow today. She is strong, but she is also soft and delicate and precious to him. He can give it to her fast any other day, just not this one.

“Can we go faster?” she asks. She is a fundamentally impatient person. “I want to feel all of you.” Sai shakes his head.

“I want to be gentle,” he says softly. Tenten moans and tilts her head.

“What kind of gentle?” she asks. Sai kisses her throat instead on answering, and she leans into the immense swell that is him and them.

“The kind that makes your toes curl,” he murmurs into her throat, punctuated by a particularly hard thrust at an agonizingly slow pace.

“You’re frustrating me,” she kisses him. Instead of responding, he kisses her back.

It feels like they are breathing into each other’s mouths instead of kissing, and it makes her feel immensely dizzy and like she is soaring, all at once. “Sai,” she whines, “more.” He sighs, and kisses her temple, before giving her all the _more_ he can, from somewhere deep inside of his soul. She reciprocates, breaking herself open to receive him.

On his last thrust, she pushes him in deeper as he groans. She kisses his face, neck and shoulders while he reorients himself. “Sai,” she whispers, “you made my toes curl.” It’s true. Her foot cramped. He laughs against her, and she smiles against his neck. “We also stink,” she adds. Sai laughs harder, because they really, really do.

Fifteen minutes later, she rinses the shampoo out of her hair when she snaps to attention. “What is it?” he asks, lathering himself with soap. She frowns and tilts her head.

“I forgot to take my pill this morning. I’ll just take it when I get out.” She puts her head under the showerhead, while he shrugs.

She squeals when he pokes her right in the belly button.

**

Tenten lies on the ground, sitting up on her elbows. She pants, hard, and Neji stands over her. He is sweating too, which makes her feel a little better about being knocked on her ass. She waves his hand away as he offers to help her up.

Sasuke and Sai stand on the edge of the training hall, watching. They had been doing their own training, until they started noticing how slow Tenten is today. “That was a spectacular fall,” Sasuke drawls. She gives him the middle finger, her face red and sweaty. Sasuke smirks before sipping from his water bottle.

“You need to get up,” Neji says, hands on his hips.

“Do I?” Tenten asks. Neji rolls his eyes.

“Fine. Spend the rest of your life on the floor.” Neji walks away to get his own water bottle. She flops onto her back, and winces when her back hits the floor. Sai tenses, but he knows better than to go and check on her in front of the team.

“I’m just so tired all the time.” She groans, rubbing her face. “I get eight hours of sleep and it just isn’t enough.”

“Maybe you’re coming down with something.” Sai offers. He has been telling her to go to the doctor for the past week.

“But I don’t feel sick,” she rubs her face with her hands. “Just tired.”

“How are you supposed to do your job if you can’t stay on your feet?” Sasuke says. Tenten glares at him.

“I am keenly aware of the demands of Anbu,” she deadpans.

“Just take the week off and do nothing,” Sasuke says, “I am way happier on leave.”

“I’m glad that fatherhood is working out for you, but you don’t have to patronize me.” Tenten sits up on a sigh.

She looks down at her shirt, and groans. She hadn’t washed her sports bra, or any of her other bras, so she is wearing a little bralette. She has done this before, and it has never been a problem. But her right breast has popped out of the cup, and not just that, it is obvious.

“Fuck,” she says, slapping her palms down to the floor.

Her teammates look at her, and it is Sasuke who notices first. “Just fix it.” He says. Sai and Neji look at Tenten’s chest, and all three blink, owlishly.

“I am not going to put my hand down my shirt in front of all of you!” She says. “I do have _some_ dignity.” Not a lot, but it is there.

“Why?” Sasuke asks. “It looks uncomfortable and you will probably run into someone between here and the locker room. It’s just us.” Sasuke takes another sip from his water bottle.

Tenten frowns at her chest, sighing. “This has never happened to me before.” Pulling her shirt away, she looks down at her the neckline. She squints, and looks at the other side of her chest, looking back and forth between the two.

“Are you checking to make sure they are still there?” Sasuke asks. Neji snorts, and Sai glares at the two of them.

“I’ve gotten fatter.” She says, looking up at the three of them.

“What?” Sasuke asks, amused by the turn in conversation.

“Why have none of you told me that I am getting fat!” Tenten looks back down her shirt and up at her team. “Why are you all looking at me like that?”

“Because you’re not fat.” Neji deadpans.

“No, my boobs are bigger, I am getting fat,” Tenten says.

“Can you stop looking down your shirt?” Neji asks. Tenten puffs up her cheeks.

“Maybe that’s why my stamina is down,” she says, “I’m getting fat.” Neji rolls his eyes while Sai presses his mouth into a line. Sasuke looks at his cuticles. He is bored.

“Maybe you’re pregnant.” Sasuke smirks and Neji snorts. The blood drains from Sai’s face, and Tenten frowns.

“That’s not funny,” she says.

“It’s a little funny,” Neji replies, “but only a little.”

“Sai, do you even know how conception works?” Sasuke asks. Tenten shoots him a look.

“Stop picking on him!” She growls. Neji sighs.

“Just fix yourself and we’ll get back to training.” He says. She looks up at him, blinking. Neji presses his mouth into a line. “What is it?” Tenten looks up at him with a morose expression.

“What if it pops out again?” she whines, “if it happened once it will probably happen again!” Sasuke coughs to disguise his laugh, which only becomes more difficult as Sai glares at him.

“Can’t you just change into a different bra?” Neji drones, “don’t most girls have more than one?” “I didn’t do my laundry this week.” She rubs her hands against her face, and Sasuke snorts.

“Sai, you let her live this way?” he asks, “now I really hope you aren’t pregnant. You two aren’t ready for the responsibility.”

“Stop joking about me being pregnant,” Tenten says, “it’s not funny!” Sai chooses to step in, and he clears his throat.

“I can go home and see what I can find.” He offers. Tenten stands up and brushes herself off.

“Don’t bother,” she says. “I’ll just go home and sleep forever.” She turns her back to the three of them and fixes herself.

“So, you’re finally going to admit that you’re not feeling well?” Sasuke asks. Tenten turns around and narrows her eyes.

“The first thing I’ll do when I feel better is kick your ass.” She yawns, big, and stretches her arms all the way up, revealing her stomach. Sai stares at her stomach as Sasuke shrugs off her threat of bodily harm.

Something doesn’t sit quite right with Sai, but he decides to ignore it. She kisses him before she leaves, telling him not to come home too late. Sai looks at her back, frowning. He doesn’t really know what to call this feeling; it’s a little more than concern, a little less than anxious. _Perhaps uneasy_ , he thinks to himself.

Perhaps.

**

Kiba doesn’t get along with Sai’s cat. He says that she smells bad, and to be honest, it really offends Sai. “You don’t have to come here,” he mutters, as Kiba stares down the cat.

“But Tenten invited me,” Kiba says, “and I never get to see her these days.”

“Stop antagonizing Sai and the cat,” Tenten says, opening the fridge. “Do you want a beer?”

“I don’t know, is the earth still on it’s axis?” Kiba drawls. Sai presses his lips together instead of asking Kiba if he even knows that that means. Tenten looks at Sai and mouths ‘sorry’ while Kiba is distracted by the newspaper on the table.

Sai shrugs and returns to making dinner. He doesn’t dislike Kiba, he just doesn’t like it when people insult his cat.

“Here.” Tenten tosses a beer to Kiba, who catches it. “Sai?” she asks, holding one out.

“No thank you,” he replies, smiling at her. She winks and puts the second can back in the fridge before opening her own.

She pulls the tab and lifts it to her lips, planning on taking a good sip. As soon as the beer hits her palate, she gags, spitting it all up on the floor. Sai and Kiba blink at her, as she wrinkles her face with disgust.

“I never thought I would live to see you unable to handle your liquor.” Kiba drawls. Sai grabs some paper towel and starts cleaning the floor.

“Kiba, don’t drink that beer.” She shakes her head. “It must have gone bad.”

“Isn’t beer fermented?” Kiba says, pulling the tab.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she puts her beer on the counter. Kiba sniffs, and then takes a sip. He looks at Tenten like she has lost her mind.

“It tastes fine.” Kiba says, “it must be the one can.” Tenten frowns. Sai stands up, the wet paper towel in his hand. He picks up the can of beer, and before she can stop him, he takes a sip. And another. He swishes it around his mouth, while Tenten has her arms crossed. He swallows and gives her a funny look.

“There’s nothing wrong with the taste,” he says. Tenten’s mouth gapes.

“That’s impossible,” she says, “it was disgusting.”

“Maybe something’s up with your tastebuds,” Kiba says, merrily sipping his beer. Tenten shoots him a look over her shoulder, while Sai frowns.

“You haven’t been feeling well,” he murmurs.

“Sip it again,” she turns back to Sai, giving him a doe-eyed look.

“Why?” he asks. He is a sucker for her big eyes, but his concern for her health takes precedence.

“Because I don’t believe that it didn’t go bad in the can.” Her hands are on her hips. Sai frowns.

“Have I ever lied to you?” he asks. “I think you should go see the doctor. You’re tired all the time, now your tastebuds aren’t working…” Tenten sighs.

“I don’t have time.”

“Make time,” Sai says. “I’m serious.”

“Hi Serious!” Kiba laughs at his own dumb joke, and Tenten tries not to smile when she sees the irritation on Sai’s face.

“Look, I’ll go on Friday, after Temari leaves and Sasuke and I don’t have to escort her around.” Tenten wraps her arms around Sai’s waist, and he sighs.

“I would prefer tomorrow.” He says.

“She’s not dying,” Kiba says, smirking at the grumpy look on Sai’s face.

“Look. Friday is only three days away. What’s the worst that could happen?” Tenten smiles up at Sai.

There are a million different possibilities buzzing in Sai’s head, and they are all morbid. But he doesn’t want to push her, so he nods. _Okay_. She kisses his chin, and Sai smirks when Kiba gags.

**

The next day, Tenten and Sasuke are assigned to escort Temari around the village. Technically, Sasuke is on paternity leave, but he doesn’t mind being called in for small things like guard duty. They are walking down the hall towards the Hokage’s office, and Sasuke and Tenten are doing what they do best: visualizing the ways in which they would like to punish Shikamaru for working them so hard.

“I want to push Shikamaru out a window,” Sasuke drawls.

“I think it would be more satisfying to watch him jump,” Tenten replies. Temari giggles behind them.

“You two are funny,” she says, “I’m glad he assigned you two to escort me.” Sasuke shrugs in response.

“I have a lot of material. I hang out with a baby all day.” He says.

“You have a baby?” Temari asks. Sasuke is the last person she would expect to procreate.

“Uh huh,” he grins, “nine months old.”

“I can’t believe someone let you impregnate them.” Temari says, “who is the mom?” Sasuke narrows his eyes as Tenten smirks.

“Hinata.” She says.

“Hinata?” Temari asks, “Naruto’s Hinata?!”

“That was years ago,” Sasuke grunts, “and they were teenagers.”

“Huh,” Temari says, “I thought they would last forever.” Sasuke snorts in response.

“That’s what people said about you and Shikamaru.” he says. Temari smirks.

“A woman’s life begins again when she realizes that she doesn’t have to date men.” She replies, “I live with a woman now. I recommend it to every woman I meet.”

“I would feel that way too if I dated Shikamaru,” Sasuke mutters.

“You’re even worse than he is,” Tenten says. “Grumpy, irritable, a former criminal…”

“Okay, we get it, I am a serious downgrade from Naruto, and I’ll be powerless to stop Hinata from leaving me when she finds the woman who will treat her right.” Sasuke says. Temari grins.

“At least you’re self-aware.” She hums.

“Painfully so,” he replies. Tenten smirks.

“Is that what we want to call emotionally stunted?” Tenten teases. Sasuke glares from behind his mask.

“You date Sai!” He growls.

“Oh, the guy Ino used to date?” Temari asks. “He’s cute.”

“And sweet, and kind, and smart.” Tenten smiles to herself. “He’s actually pretty dreamy.”

“Gross,” Sasuke says.

“You’re just jealous because no one says that about you,” Tenten shoots back.

“I have no interest in being dreamy,” he drawls. They are almost at the office, when they pass the staff room.

Tenten can’t name the smell, but she can describe it. Like hot, rotting garbage. She stops and gags, her mouth salivating while the back of her throat tingles. She takes her mask off, hand clutched over her mouth.

“Tenten?” Sasuke asks, breaking protocol. Temari looks at her with concern.

“Are you okay?” she asks. Tenten has no idea how either of them can stomach the smell, but she does know that she has five seconds to figure out where she is going to puke.

Tenten spies a big garbage can, and sprints over. She leans over and retches. Everything comes up, and it doesn’t stop. She’s embarrassed to be puking like this, so she sticks her head into the can, as if it would hide her identity. When she is finished, she feels Sasuke’s hands on her shoulders as he pulls her out of the trash can.

“Are you done?” he asks. Tenten rubs her mouth with back of her hand.

“I think so,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he says.

“For puking.” She rubs her forehead, embarrassed to have done this in an open hallway right by Kakashi’s fucking office.

“Are you sick?” Temari asks. Tenten shrugs.

“I have been pretty tired, and my sense of smell and taste is screwy.” She says, “I just smelled whatever died in the staff room.” Sasuke and Temari look at each other, confused.

“It just smells like microwaved food,” Temari says quietly. Sasuke looks at Tenten, and she can tell that he is thinking about what he would do if she was his kid. Unfortunately, she is in no position to challenge him.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he sighs. “Temari, do you need me to take you to the office?”

“I can walk myself.” She says. “Should I call anyone?” Sasuke rubs Tenten’s back as she buries her head in her hands.

“If you could go in there and tell Wolf and Monkey to meet us at the hospital, that’d be great.” Sasuke says, “tell them Snake had to pull Eagle out of a trash can. That should send them running.” He pulls Tenten back up onto her feet. Temari nods, walking down the hall.

Sasuke takes Tenten’s arm, and she goes along with him. Apparently, neither of their lives will be easy today.

**

When Temari walked in and told Neji and Sai what happened, they both froze and looked at Kakashi. “Has Eagle been sick?” Kakashi asks. Sai and Neji look at each other.

“Something has been off,” Sai replies. “Can we go see her?” Kakashi nods, and they bolt from the room. They rip their masks off on the way there. Secrecy isn’t their immediate concern.

Sasuke is sitting in the waiting room when they get there. He waves them over. “She threw up in the hallway,” he says. Neji frowns and activates his byakugan. Tenten hasn’t been feeling well, and if things were worse because of their workload, Neji would never forgive himself.

“Neji?” Sasuke asks, “what are you doing?”

“Finding Tenten.” He says this as if it were the most logical thing.

“What about other people’s privacy?” Sasuke drawls.

“I don’t care about other people.” Neji replies. Sasuke looks at Sai, who looks like he is trying very, _very_ hard not to panic.

“Found her,” Neji mutters, and he sets off. Sasuke looks up at Sai.

“Are you going to follow him?” he asks. Sai shakes his head. In all honesty, he looks like he is going to hurl.

“I’ll wait for the doctor,” he says, “following rules will help manage my anxiety.” Sai swallows. Sasuke nods.

“Whatever you say.” He rubs his forehead, trying to fit all the clues together. _Fatigue, weight gain, changes in sense of taste and smell, nausea_. Sasuke opens his eyes wide in realization. It’s not his place to tell Sai, but if he’s right, Tenten definitely isn’t dying.

**

Neji doesn’t bother knocking. He simple opens the door. Tenten is wearing a gown, and she jumps when he enters.

“Neji!” Tenten exclaims, “what are you doing here?”

“Temari said Sasuke pulled you from a trash can,” he replies.

“Why is your byakugan activated?” she asks, crossing her arms. Neji scowls as he scans her body.

“It’s how I found you,” he replies, zeroing in on her stomach.

“The doctor didn’t even tell you!” She shrieks. He walks over, eyes fixed on her abdomen.

“Don’t worry, Sai and Sasuke are following the rules for me.” Neji places his hand on her stomach, tilting his head. “Tenten, are you waiting for a pregnancy test?” she shifts in her seat.

“Yea.” She murmurs. Neji looks up at her, smiling.

“I am pretty sure it’s going to be positive.” He says, “it kind of looks like a little dragon.” Tenten freezes, looking into his eyes.

“Like a fire-breathing lizard?” she says quietly.

“A little fire-breathing lizard. With wings.” He moves his hand away, and she puts both of hers on her stomach.

“A baby?” her voice is soft.

“Yes.” He smiles at her, and she looks up at him, her eyes glimmering.

“Can you go get Sai?” she asks. Neji nods.

“Of course.” He turns back to the door. “Tenten?”

“Yes?” she replies.

“You want this, right? We’re happy, right?” Neji asks. Tenten grins.

“We are very happy.” She replies.

“I’ll just tell Sai where you are.” Neji says, “I’ll look very grave when I say it, too.”

“Don’t do that,” she says, “he is probably panicking.”

“It’s because he really loves you.” Neji says. Tenten looks down at her stomach.

“He really does.” She sighs, “you can tell Sasuke when Sai is gone.”

“Deal.” Neji says. “Congratulations.”

 _Thank you_.

**

Neji didn’t tell him what was wrong, he just told Sai where to find her. Sai knocks on the door gently, before poking his head in. “Tenten?” he asks.

“Sai,” she says, “come in.” He walks in and closes the door behind him. He looks like he is going to puke.

“Are you okay?” he asks, walking up to her. She smiles.

“Yes,” she reaches for his hands. “Guess what?”

“What?” he asks, confused as to why she is in a good mood. She takes his hands in hers, running her thumbs over his knuckles.

“I’m pregnant.” She smiles, “I’m waiting for the test results, but Neji saw it with the byakugan.” Sai freezes, his mouth open.

“Pregnant?” he asks. Tenten nods.

“With a baby.” She smirks, “one that you put in me.” Sai takes in a breath and sits beside her on the exam table.

“We made a baby.” He blinks at her.

“We did.” She puts her hand on his cheek. “I know we haven’t discussed this, but I think we could make it work.”

“You want my baby?” Sai asks in a small voice. Tenten smiles.

“Our baby.” She puts his hand over her stomach.

“So, you’re not sick?” he asks.

“Nope. Just pregnant.” She says. “Are you happy?” Sai looks green.

He tilts his head and rubs her stomach. “I’m scared,” he says. He looks into her eyes, and finally smiles. “But, more than anything, I’m happy.” He smiles like a big dummy, and he hugs Tenten. Her face is scrunched into his neck, and she hugs him back.

“You’re going to be someone’s dad,” she says.

“You’re going to be someone’s mom,” he replies. They hear a knock on the door, and Shizune walks in, smiling.

Good news; Neji was right.

**

They are so relieved that Tenten isn’t dying of some mysterious illness, that Neji and Sasuke don’t comment on her holding Sai’s hand all the way back to Hokage Tower. She and Sai look into each other’s eyes and smile, and Sasuke and Neji can’t even gag.

They step into Kakashi’s office, and they all look at Tenten. Kakashi smirks at her and Sai as they jump away from each other. “Are you okay?” Temari asks.

“Do you even like these people?” Shikamaru asks. Temari glares at him.

“You are so rude.” She retorts. Kakashi sighs.

“So, is everyone okay?” he asks. Neji nods his head. “Great, now let’s get back to the meeting.”

Sai keeps looking at Tenten’s stomach. He can’t believe that not only is there a baby in there, but Tenten is happy for it to be there.

**

Sai lies on his side, his arm resting on Tenten’s stomach. “You keep looking at it,” she says, reading a magazine. He clicks his tongue.

“I can’t believe it.” Intellectually, he understands that he is going to be a father. He’s thought about it, but he never pictured it being real. “I don’t feel like a dad, I guess.” He says.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“Sasuke and Shikamaru both changed,” he says, “and it seemed like it happened pretty early. I just don’t feel like a dad yet.” Tenten smiles.

“We just found out.” She puts hand over his. “I’m sure you’ll feel it soon.”

“Okay,” he says. The cat jumps onto their bed and settles right by Sai’s head. _Family_ , he thinks with a smile. Apparently, he is capable of making one of those.

**

It takes a week for Sai to finally feel like a father. It is a simple detainment mission. Their target has hired mercenaries from Kirighakure. Sai and Neji have successfully cornered the target, while Tenten is fending off a crony. There comes a moment when Sai turns back and sees Tenten fending off the mercenary.

Now, he knows that she can handle herself. He has spent the last four years watching Tenten take down opponents twice her size. But when he looks back and sees the mercenary make hand signs, and he sees the sweat on Tenten’s arm, something inside him snaps. He can tell from her breathing and her stance that she is tired. Sai, acting on all the indescribable feelings inside of his chest, turns his back away from the target, pulls his arm back, and throws his tanto with enough force to send it through the neck of the mercenary.

It is in that moment that Sai finally feels something primeval: the pull of fatherhood.

Blood sprays across Tenten’s mask. Neji turns his head to see what happened. They both turn to look at Sai. In this moment of distraction, the target attempts to get away, but Neji snaps to attention just in time. With one hit, the target is knocked unconscious.

“What the _fuck_ , Monkey.” Neji says, standing over the target. Sai doesn’t say anything. He walks over to the corpse and yanks his sword out of the mercenary’s neck. Tenten looks at Sai, and he can tell that she is worried. “Monkey?” Neji asks.

Sai turns back, wiping the blade off on his pants. “My apologies.” Sai drones. Neji picks up the target and throws him over his shoulders.

“Is that all you have to say?” he asks.

“At this moment, yes.” Sai replies, before turning back to Tenten. “Eagle, are you okay?” he asks softly.

“Yes,” her voice is quiet. Sai nods.

“Let’s get going.” He says, turning away from Tenten. She and Neji make eye contact, and Tenten can just tell that Neji is going to throw a fit over this when they finally get back to the village.

**

It takes a week, but when she is summoned to a meeting in the Hokage’s office, Tenten figures that it has something to do with Sai’s flub. She spent the morning in the basement, going through old files and working on the backlog of reports. Tenten yawns as she walks into the office, ready to deal with whatever fuckery she is about to be subjected to.

When she gets into the office, everyone turns to look at her. Shikamaru is standing by Kakashi’s desk, looking through files. Yamato stands on the other side, his hands behind his back. Kakashi sits at his desk, holding Shikamaru and Ino’s baby, who is gurgling loudly. Sai stands over to the side next to Sasuke, who is holding his own baby, who is slump against him, sleeping. Neji stands beside him, arms crossed, tapping his foot. It does not escape her attention that she is the only woman in the room.

“Am I late?” she asks. Neji frowns.

“Yes,” he says, “by two minutes, actually.” Tenten rolls her eyes at him.

“Why are Sasuke and two babies here?” she asks.

“Well, Neji called while Ino was passed out on the couch and Hinata was going to shower and take a nap,” Sasuke drawls, “and you can’t really leave babies to fend for themselves.” Spending his days with Hinata and his baby has done wonders for him. He looks tired, but happy. _Will Sai be that way?_

“Okay, but why are we all here?” she asks.

“We are here to discuss the incident last week.” Neji replies. Tenten sighs.

“Sai made a dumb call. I don’t see why we need to have a meeting over this.” She rubs her temple.

“I think we need to have this conversation now.” Neji says, “we need to figure out your replacement.”

“My replacement?” she repeats. He nods.

“You can’t be in the field while pregnant.” He blinks. Tenten scoffs once, twice. Her hands are on her hips, and she looks around the room to see if anyone else thinks Neji is being ridiculous. Unfortunately, they all seem to, if not agree with him, think it is worth having a meeting over.

“Are you all serious?” she asks, “you do know that pregnancy isn’t a disease, right?”

“Sai messed up because he was distracted,” Neji says, “and we are frequently in dangerous situations. I just don’t feel comfortable working with you in the field.”

“First of all, Sai is right there,” Tenten points at him, “and second of all, this sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.” Neji’s face twists, but Kakashi speaks first.

“No one is questioning your abilities,” he says, “and either way, you will be going on maternity leave at some point. It’s worth having this discussion now.” She finds it difficult to take him seriously while he holds a baby.

“Fine,” she says, “Neji, what would your ideal scenario be?”

“You go onto desk duty and Sasuke comes back onto the team.” Neji says. Sasuke frowns.

“I don’t want to come off of my leave,” he replies, “I _like_ hanging out with my kid.”

“We can find an alternate,” Shikamaru says, “if Neji cooperates.”

“Sai, Sasuke and I were a three-man squad for years before Tenten was recruited,” Neji says, ignoring the fact that Sasuke doesn’t want to come back and that Tenten doesn’t want to go on desk duty.

“Okay, but I’m not going to force him out of paternity leave because you insist on being difficult,” Shikamaru replies, an irritated look on his face.

“Why not?” Neji asks, “you love telling him what to do?”

“Neji has a point,” Kakashi says, eyes crinkling at the cooing baby in his arms. Shikamaru makes a face.

“I keep an eye on his kid too,” Sasuke says, “if I go off leave, that means Hinata and Ino are going to be by themselves.”

“You care about _Ino_?” Neji asks. Sasuke rolls his eyes.

“Her kid is cute and Hinata cares about Ino.” He replies.

“Look, none of this is an immediate problem,” Tenten says, “Sasuke is coming back in three months and I can wait until then. Everyone wins. The team doesn’t change, and I can take over Ino and Hinata duty.”

Neji frowns. “I really don’t want you to be in the field, Tenten,” he says, “Sai nearly failed the mission. If Sasuke had been there instead of you, it would not have happened.”

“Let him hang out with his kid, Neji,” Tenten sighs. “He’s _happy_. Let him, for once in his miserable life, be _happy_.”

“Thank you.” Sasuke says. “Neji, I think your problem is that you don’t spend enough time with babies.” Sasuke smirks, remember the time his baby yanked on Neji’s hair so hard that he squeaked. Neji narrows his eyes.

“They are a lot of fun,” Shikamaru says, looking through a file.

“Babies have melted your brains,” Neji declares with an irritated look on his face.

“That’s not a nice thing to say in front of babies.” Kakashi drawls.

“They are pretty cute,” Sai murmurs, looking over at the sleeping baby beside him.

“Tenten!” Neji looks to her as the one source of sanity left in the room. She doesn’t know why he doesn’t turn to Yamato for reassurance, but whatever.

“Neji, just wait for Sasuke to come back from leave.” She sighs, “please, just make our lives easy, for once.”

“You are going to give me an ulcer from stress,” Neji replies, irritated that his plea for sanity goes unanswered.

“Pregnancy isn’t a disease,” Yamato chimes in, finally speaking. Neji groans.

“We are already short staffed, and I’m not comfortable putting Tenten at risk, knowing that it will distract Sai.” Neji presses his tongue against his bottom front teeth. “You all know Sai put a sword through someone’s neck, right?”

“I would have done worse,” Sasuke says. Tenten gives him an annoyed look. “What? I was just being honest.”

“Sai?” Kakashi asks.

Everyone looks at Sai. He is silent on purpose. While he doesn’t like having his work being questioned, even he can admit that he really fucked up last week. Tenten kept telling him that he did nothing wrong, that she would even go so far as to say that he did the right thing. But she is carrying his baby. It is going to turn her crank when she sees him kill to protect her. While he had done it before, it was only in truly dire circumstances. He knew Tenten could have taken that mercenary. Sai just didn’t want her to.

A little piece of him is inside her now. Well, it’s more appropriate to refer it as a piece of them. That little _it_ has changed everything.

Sai bites his lip and looks away from Tenten. “It has been hard to remain objective on missions.” He doesn’t elaborate beyond that, but when he glances back at her, he can tell that she feels betrayed. He gives her a small smile, reassuring her that he thinks this whole thing is ludicrous. She presses her mouth into a line and looks away. Sai’s face falls, and he crosses his arms. Sasuke looks between the two of them.

Neji outstretches his arms, vindicated. “See?” Neji says, turning to Tenten. Sasuke, who still remembers the last time Neji played Tenten and Sai off of each other, steps in.

“It actually sounds like a baby has melted your brain, Neji.” Sasuke replies.

Tenten sighs. She is annoyed because she is in a room with a bunch of men who are talking about how her pregnancy makes them feel, rather than objectively evaluating her ability to work for the next three months. She is tempted to say that her body was made to carry a pregnancy, and if this baby doesn’t stick, _that’s life for you_. But she loves this baby and it would hurt Sai’s feelings to say something callous just to stick it to Neji. She also knows that the men she works with would never recover from that kind of remark. They can’t grasp the idea that their moms could have had happy lives if they had never been born.

The bottom line is that if she miscarried in the field, she would deal with it. It would break her heart, but she would recover. _But does she really want to put herself in the position where it could happen?_ Tenten never imagined that she would be any other way. However, she had never imagined herself pregnant.

She looks at Neji, who is frowning at Sasuke. “Neji,” she says softly, “can you listen to me? I can do it until Sasuke can come back. I need you to trust me.” Neji looks at her, an uncertain expression on his face.

“It’s not about trust,” he says. “It’s about your safety.”

A long moment stretches between them. “I’m not sick,” she says, “and Sai did something we have all done for each other.” It’s true. Neji sighs. He looks at Sai.

“Sai, are you comfortable with this?” he asks. Sai looks at Tenten. She wouldn’t be the person he loves if she was willing to walk away so early, and he would be bad at loving her if he asked her to betray herself.

“She will know when it is time,” he says, “I trust her.” Tenten doesn’t smile at him, but her eyes light up when they meet Sai’s. He looks at her with the same affection. Neji, feeling dumb, nods.

“Okay, well, I’ll be off,” he says, walking out the door. Tenten looks at his back, worried. She knows that Neji wants to protect the whole team. He probably finds it hard working with parents. He lost his daddy, and it changed him forever. He would never forgive himself if Hinata or Tenten’s babies grew up without a dad.

Neji doesn’t work directly with Hinata, so he didn’t have a reminder of Sasuke’s impending parenthood in his face. She rubs her hand against her forearm.

“I am always impressed by the way you handle Neji,” Yamato says, “you always get him to listen.” She looks back at Yamato. The truth of Neji is that he called this meeting because he is scared; of something happening to a member of the team, of being responsible for someone’s daddy and mommy, how everything feels like it is changing. People always treat him, and Sai and Sasuke like they are cold, unfeeling people, but the truth is that they feel so deeply that it overwhelms their rational minds. It’s what happens to kids who are traumatized and then forced to live like it hadn’t changed them at all.

She shrugs at Yamato. _Everyone has a talent._

**

Tenten knocks on the door of Neji’s apartment once, twice. He opens the door, an annoyed look on his face. His hair is in a giant knot on his head. She holds up a pack of beer.

“You’re pregnant,” he sniffs.

“It’s for you.” She smiles. Neji snorts and opens the door. Tenten squeezes past him, and he pads back to his kitchen as she takes her sandals off.

His plants are all on his kitchen table. There is a bowl of soapy water and a pile of cotton balls beside it. Neji likes to clean the leaves of his plants when he gets anxious. It’s soothing and repetitive, his favorite kind of task.

“Are we going to talk about that meeting?” she asks. Neji sighs.

“Do you want to?” he asks. Tenten puts the beer on the table, and he grabs one.

“We have to,” she says, watching him open the bottle with his teeth. He spits the cap onto the table. She is pretty sure she is the only person who knows he does this.

“I’m always contending with fuckery,” he drawls. Tenten rolls her eyes.

“You act like we go out of our ways to inconvenience you,” she says, walking over to his kitchen cabinets. She pulls out a glass and fills it with water while he chugs his beer.

He lets out a big “aaah” and a burp. Tenten laughs. “I think I’m the only person who knows you do that.” Neji smirks.

“Sasuke and Sai probably know too.” He looks down into the bottle.

“We didn’t do this on purpose,” she says quietly. Neji laughs.

“I could tell by the green look on Sai’s face at the hospital that you and Sai weren’t thinking, at all.”

“Fuck you,” she says. Neji shrugs.

“I never thought I would care if you and Hinata had families,” he says, “I figured it wouldn’t change much for me.” Tenten sips her water before responding.

“You are part of our families.” She replies. Neji rolls his eyes.

“Not like that,” he says. “I didn’t think I would like your babies so much, or care about their dads.”

“You haven’t even met my baby,” she teases.

“I’m trying to be sincere,” he says. “You’re making it hard.”

“Me? Never.” She says. Neji snorts.

“I just want to protect you.” He murmurs, “I want you all to be safe and happy. Even Sasuke and Sai.” He pauses. “Their safety is non-negotiable now. Do you know how much that changes things?” Tenten rolls her eyes.

“You care more about them than you let on,” she says. “You aren’t a god. You aren’t responsible if something happens.”

“I don’t want a kid to grow up like me,” he says. Tenten looks at him.

“They won’t be,” she smiles, “neither baby is going to be a genius.” Neji smiles at her joke. She smiles at him softly. “You’re not the only person who grew up without a full set of parents. Besides, I like who you are.” Neji blinks, stunned.

He recovers himself quickly. “Well, we won’t find out,” he grunts, “no one is going to die if I’m around to save you from yourselves.” Tenten smiles.

“You always keep your promises.” She says. Neji smiles as he sips his beer.

_Yeah, I do._

**

Sai lies on his stomach on the floor of Shikamaru and Ino’s living room. The two babies, who he refers to as The Bug and The Shrimp, are on their backs, raising their arms and legs up. The Bug has Ino’s big eyes, and The Shrimp is tiny like Hinata. They think the nicknames are kind of cute, so they let Sai have his fun. The Bug likes to stuff his fist into his mouth, and The Shrimp likes to chew on wooden spoons. Sai doesn’t really talk to them, so much as he babbles at them.

Hinata and Ino like having Sai around. He thinks they see him as a kind of pet, which he is fine with. He prefers their company to Sasuke and Shikamaru, who chose Tenten as their confidant. She doesn’t seem to mind them, but she agrees with Sai that he came out the winner.

Sasuke is napping, and Hinata and Ino like to gossip, so here they are. Sai taps his fingers on the tummies of The Shrimp and The Bug, and he puffs up his cheeks and blinks at them. They are giggling at him, wiggling and squirming with their whole bodies. Ino and Hinata like to watch Sai playing with babies. It’s cute.

So cute that when Shikamaru and Sasuke said that spending time with Sai would stunt their children’s emotional development, Ino who told them off while Hinata glowered. Babies like Sai, so much so that The Bug and The Shrimp will actually respond to those names. Naruto is a little bummed that his nicknames never took, but it was for the best.

“What do you think we’ll call your kid?” Ino asks from the couch. Sai pouts as he thinks.

“If it looks like Tenten, maybe The Fawn? She looks like a deer.” He hums.

“Sasuke refers to your baby as an alien.” Hinata says. Ino rolls her eyes.

“He and Shikamaru need to grow up.” She drawls. Sai smirks.

“I kind of like it.” He smiles, “The Alien has a ring to it.”

“The Alien, huh?” Ino smiles.

“Sasuke hates it when his jokes don’t bother me,” Sai replies, making a funny face at The Bug while The Shrimp chews on the end of the wooden spoon.

“You’re going to be a good dad,” Hinata says, standing up to refill her glass of water.

“You think?” he asks.

“I know,” she says, “look at you.” Sai grabs a tiny foot, feeling how it wiggles against his thumb.

“It only really hit me last week,” he says. “Tenten was in danger, so I put a sword through someone’s neck.” Violence has always been a part of Sai’s life. It makes sense that his fatherhood would be actualized in blood.

Sasuke had mentioned the meeting to Hinata. She didn’t want him to go back into the field, but neither did she want Tenten out there. “What happened, exactly?” she asks. Sai hums in his throat, thinking.

“Well, Neji and I had cornered the target, while Tenten was dealing with a mercenary. I looked over my shoulder and saw her. She looked tired and sweaty, and the man started making hand signs, so I killed him.” Sai says, “I didn’t even think about it. I just felt a rage I had never felt before. Being a father doesn’t make me angry. But it does make a lot of things clearer to me, and one of those things is that any harm coming to Tenten or our baby is completely unacceptable.” Sai pauses. “The target could have gotten away, for all I care. Nothing is more important to me. That’s why Sasuke won’t leave either of you alone while Shikamaru practically sleeps in his office. They want to keep you safe, so Shikamaru micromanages village security and Sasuke skulks around.” Sai hums. “They are trying their best.”

Just like him.

**

Hinata holds up a towel, shaking it out before folding it. “How was the meeting this afternoon?” she asks. Sasuke looks at their baby, who is napping in a fold-out crib. His mouth twitches.

“It was fine.” He says. Hinata eyes the way his jaw clenches.

“Do you want to go back?” she asks quietly.

“No,” he says, “I really don’t want to. But Tenten is having a baby.”

“Babies change things,” she says, placing the towel on a pile of clean laundry.

“I want to be here,” he says, “I don’t want to miss anything.” He sighs and sits back on the couch. “That’s all?” she asks.

“What do you mean?” he asks, turning his head to look at her.

“Sai said you hang around so much because you want to protect us,” she says. Sasuke shrugs.

“You’re also really pretty, and our baby is pretty cute.” He replies. Hinata rolls her eyes.

“I can protect our baby too,” she says quietly.

“I know,” he says in a soft voice.

“I believe in you,” she says, “with my whole being.”

“You do?” he asks. “I could die if I go back out there.” He doubts it. But he is someone’s dad now, and he can’t act like his life is really his own.

“You won’t die,” she says softly, “you always come back. It’s the one thing I believe in.” Hinata looks at him. She smiles softly, and he crawls over to her. He drops his face onto her lap, his nose between her thighs.

“I’ll miss you,” he says. Hinata smiles and runs her fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“You are so needy,” she teases. Sasuke sits back up and pulls her onto his lap. She squeaks.

“What of it?” he murmurs into her hair. Hinata smiles at him.

“You’re too stubborn to not come home,” her voice is silver. Sasuke smiles.

“You’ve got me there,” he mutters. Her lips find his throat; he sighs.

**

Shikamaru has a bad habit of bringing work home with him. Every night another file appears on his desk at home. Ino saunters into his office, where he sits hunched over, rubbing his forehead. She walks up behind him and wraps her arms around his shoulders. He sighs as she rests her chin on the top of his head.

“You need to take a break,” she murmurs.

“I have work to do,” he replies.

“It will be there tomorrow,” she replies. “Come eat dinner with me.”

“I can’t,” he sighs, “every day there is something new to deal with. I can barely keep track of it all.”

“Shikamaru,” Ino says, “you are trying to do too much.”

“It’s not enough.” He sighs. Shikamaru hasn’t felt like enough since Asuma died in front of them. “I have to keep everyone safe,” he adds, quietly.

“That’s not just your job,” she replies, “you know what _is_ your job? Being present in your loved ones’ lives. Mirai came by looking for you today and Chouji keeps leaving messages for you.” She kisses his ear, and he slumps back into her.

“What if something happens, Ino?” his voice is quiet and uncertain.

“There are other people who will deal with it.” She stands up. “I didn’t have a baby with you so that you would be too busy to spend time with us.”

“That’s a cheap shot,” he retorts. Ino smiles.

“C’mon, the baby is asleep,” she sighs, “we can fool around instead of eating.” Shikamaru groans.

“You always want to fool around,” he sighs, “and it is never just fooling around. You can’t de-escalate to save your life.” Ino pouts. He turns his office chair around to look up at her.

“It’s just because I love you so much.” She says. “I let you put a baby in me.”

“I am keenly aware,” he sighs, pulling her onto his lap.

**

Tenten hums as she kisses Sai’s jaw. She is on top, leaning down to press herself against him. Sai moves up and through her and she responds in kind. He was home first, and he had smiled when she took her clothes off. Today has been stressful, and she just wants to melt into Sai. She wants him to give it to her so hard that she can’t walk. _Can’t go to work if I can’t walk,_ she had said into his mouth. Sai had laughed, but he didn’t say anything.

His thumbs dig into her hips, and as she sits up, they find their end in the beginning. In the quick succession of four _agains,_ he comes inside her. Instead of pulling away, she leans back down and kisses his throat.

“Were you mad at me today?” he asks. Tenten pauses.

“Why would I be mad at you?” she replies.

“I said I was uncomfortable with you being in the field,” he replies. Tenten frowns, sitting up to look at him.

“All you said is that it is hard to stay objective,” she says, “it’s nothing we didn’t deal with when we first got together.” She puts her hands on his face, tapping the pads of her thumbs along his cheekbones. “You’re the dad. You are going to have opinions.” Sai nods his head. She can tell that he doesn’t really want to talk about this anymore than he has to.

Sai looks at her tummy, placing a hand over it. Tenten presses against him, making him smile. “Do you think the baby can hear us when we have sex?”

“Sai,” Tenten whines. He smiles.

“It was just a question.” He shrugs.

“It makes me uncomfortable,” she says.

“Well, ask me something that will make me feel the same way.” He opens his arms, and she just flops onto him. He wraps his arms around her and sighs. Sai really wishes they could do this forever.

“How do you really feel about me being in the field while pregnant?” she asks. She feels his tummy stiffen under hers. He exhales onto the top of her head, looking up at the ceiling.

“It makes me uncomfortable, but it’s your decision.” He rubs the down of her lower back.

“But it’s our baby,” she says quietly.

“It’s your body, not mine.” He puts his nose into her hair. It tickles. “If anything happened to it, we would be okay. We could make a new baby.”

It means a lot, that he acknowledges that the worst-case scenario isn’t actually the worst thing that could happen. At the same time, Tenten finds herself feeling…defensive. A searing clarity that puts it all into perspective. She looks up at Sai, putting both of her hands onto his forehead, her chin on his.

“I want this one.” She says quietly.

“Me too,” he says quietly.

“Maybe I should step back,” she says.

“It’s up to you,” he replies, “I will support you either way.” Tenten taps her fingers on his forehead, thinking. After a long pause, she speaks.

“Hey, Sai.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve only just realized that we are going to have a baby.” She smiles.

“A real, live baby.” He smiles, before flipping them over. Tenten giggles as he whispers every little thing he wants to do to her against her throat.

**

Sasuke pulls himself from Hinata early in the morning, and trudges over to Shikamaru’s office. He finds Shikamaru at his desk, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He doesn’t bother knocking.

“Good morning,” he says. Shikamaru glares.

“What does ‘good’ really even mean?” he asks. Sasuke frowns.

“It’s too early,” he replies. Shikamaru sighs.

“Why are you here?” he asks.

“I’m here to come off leave early.” Sasuke replies. His hands are in his pockets.

“Why? You don’t have to.” Shikamaru doesn’t believe that Sasuke has suddenly become a selfless person.

“Neji is sensitive and Sai really shouldn’t have to babysit him.” Sasuke drawls.

“You care about them?” Shikamaru asks. Sasuke frowns, a little offended by the question.

“Yes,” he replies, “I do. Someone has to make sure they come home.” Shikamaru quirks his mouth.

“Okay.” He replies. Shikamaru gets it.

There is an awkward silence that hangs between the two. Sasuke nods once, twice and just as he opens his mouth to say goodbye, Tenten bursts in.

“I want to go onto to admin duty,” she says, breathless.

“Did you run all the way here to tell me that?” Shikamaru asks. She frowns, before noticing Sasuke.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, choosing to ignore Shikamaru’s question.

“Talking about robbing a bank,” Sasuke replies. She narrows her eyes at him, hands on her hips.

“Sasuke came in to tell me that he wants to come off leave,” Shikamaru says, “presumably to make our lives easier.”

“You don’t have to,” Tenten says, “not for me.”

“Babies change things,” Sasuke shrugs, “and it will be like old times, when it was just the three of us.”

“Didn’t you all dislike each other?” she asks. Shikamaru laughs, taking a sip of his coffee.

“We were _indifferent_ to each other,” Sasuke narrows his eyes, “although, in hindsight, we all knew when Neji broke up with Ino and Sai started crushing on you without anyone having to say anything. Maybe we were friends.” Sasuke shrugs.

“Whatever,” she says. Sasuke grins.

“What? Are you scared we won’t need you anymore?” he asks.

“Fuck you,” she replies.

“You shouldn’t swear in front of your baby.” Shikamaru says. Instead of replying, she picks up a stapler and throws it at him. Shikamaru catches it, barely. “You are even touchier over your baby than you are with Sai.”

“I didn’t think it was possible,” Sasuke drawls. “I’m getting breakfast with Naruto, if you two want to come.”

“I am pretty hungry,” Shikamaru says, looking around at all his files. “I can go.”

“A whole meal with you three?” she asks.

“Do you have anything better to do?” Sasuke asks. Tenten frowns.

“Not really,” she replies.

“You can tell Naruto that you’re having a baby,” Shikamaru says, “he loves children.”

“It hasn’t been twelve weeks,” she says, “too many people know already.”

“Now is the time if you don’t want him to jump on you from excitement.” Sasuke replies, “I barely got Hinata out of the way.”

“Same with Ino.” Shikamaru stands up.

“He’s heavier than he looks,” Sasuke adds.

“Let me go asks Sai,” she grumbles.

“Invite him too,” Sasuke says, “I kind of miss him.”

All Tenten can do is hiss out a _fine_.

**

Tenten has a very particular way that she likes to spend her Saturday mornings. She likes to sleep in for at least two hours. Then she wants to wake up next to Sai and fool around until she fully wakes up, at which point, they usually get up and make breakfast. It’s such a nice way to start her mornings, and they only have thirty more Saturdays to live like this, without factoring in Anbu or the way pregnancy might change things.

Thirty Saturdays until parenthood, and Tenten wants to treasure each one. Especially the early ones, with her bigger boobs and brighter skin. Humming, Tenten finally opens her eyes. The light is bright, and the window is open. She lies on her stomach, and yawns into her pillow. Sai must have gotten up already, since she is in the middle of the bed. _Whatever_ , she thinks, _we can make out wherever._ Yawning again, she pushes herself up, and looks on either side of her.

To her horror, she sees Neji and Sasuke, both fully clothed, lying in either side of her. Neji is reading the book Sai had on his bedside table, while Sasuke is doing his crossword.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” she asks.

“Good morning,” Neji drawls. Sasuke grunts, not looking away from his crossword.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” She says. Sasuke looks at her.

“There are three of us,” he says, pointing his pen towards the end of the bed. Tenten rolls onto her back and sits up. Shikamaru stands at the end of the bed, reading a book. She doesn’t recognize it. He must have brought it with him.

“Don’t mind me,” Shikamaru drawls, “feel free to go back to sleep. Your snoring is comforting.”

“Did I die in my sleep and go to hell?” she asks, “because, to be clear, this is what I envision hell to be.” Sasuke snorts.

“Rude,” he drawls. Shikamaru and Neji, focused on their reading, say nothing. The three men are silent for the next few minutes, before Tenten loses her patience.

“Will one of you tell me why you are here?” she whines.

“Sai let us in,” Neji drones, turning the page of Sai’s mystery novel. Tenten sits frowns.

“Why would he do that?” she asks.

“Because he likes our company.” Sasuke yawns. Tenten narrows her eyes.

“Then shouldn’t you be with him?” she asks.

“We like you more,” Shikamaru says. Sasuke glares at him.

“You were never a part of the band,” he says. Neji sighs.

“Do the two of you really need to fight in front of Sai’s alien baby?” he says.

“Alien baby?” Tenten squawks.

“That’s what we call your baby.” Shikamaru drawls.

“We even have a betting pool on whether or not your baby will have gills.” Sasuke puts the paper down. “I have ten on your baby have three heads.”

“What is wrong with you?” Tenten goes to thump him, but he catches her arms. She squirms, trying to get free. Neji frowns and puts the book down.

“You two need to stop squabbling,” Neji says, “you two are acting like children.”

“He started it!” Tenten says. Neji sighs. Sasuke lets her go, and she crosses her arms.

“That’s not a good answer.” He replies. “I can’t believe the two of you are parents.”

“I am going to go find Sai,” she says, worming her way out of the covers. She scoots up to the top of the blanket and stands up on the pillows. She is wearing a pair of underwear and one of Sai’s shirts. Shikamaru averts his gaze, while Sasuke and Neji don’t blink an eye.

“Fuck, Tenten, put some pants on!” Shikamaru squeaks.

“Sometimes, I sleep naked,” she says, stepping over Sasuke so she can hop off of the bed. “You’re lucky Sai and I didn’t have sex last night.” Sai had come home so late that she was already asleep. Sasuke and Neji both laugh at that one, while Shikamaru makes a face of disgust.

“Why are you grossed out?” Tenten doubles down. “You know how babies are made.” She looks around the room, hands on her hips. “It’s not just you three here, is it?” she sighs.

“Nope,” Sasuke drawls, “it’s my fault.” Tenten narrows her eyes at Sasuke.

“Explain,” she says. He sighs and sits up.

“Hinata found out about team breakfast, and so she thought that Team Seven should start it up again. So, she called Sakura, who called Ino, and next thing you know it is 9 AM and we are all here.” Sasuke rubs his face. “You should probably put pants on. Naruto is out there, and he will probably try and talk to your stomach.”

“If Shikamaru freaks out at the sight of you in underwear, I wonder what Naruto would do.” Neji says. Shikamaru groans.

“Can you just put pants on?”

“You’re the one who came into my room while I was asleep.” She walks over to the dresser. As she bends down to pulls a pair of pants from the drawer, Sasuke smirks.

“Pink lace?” he asks. “Does Sai like that?”

“Twenty says Sai prefers purple,” Neji drawls, and Sasuke cackles.

“You joke about Tenten’s underwear?” Shikamaru asks, stunned. People say that Team Ten has a twisted bond, but they have _nothing_ on this.

“I don’t like it.” She says, stepping into a pair of sweatpants, pulling them up over her hips. “You know, Sasuke, if you hadn’t opened your big mouth, we could all be in our respective beds, fucking around instead of being here.”

Sasuke groans. “I didn’t think Hinata would _care_.” He blinks as Tenten takes off Sai’s shirt, her back to all three of them. “Shikamaru, don’t turn around.”

“What?” Shikamaru says, looking over his shoulder. “Fuck! Do you spend all your time naked?” Sasuke smirks. “I knew you would fall for that.” Neji snickers while Shikamaru scowls at them.

“Stop being a baby,” she says, opening a drawer. “You’ve seen worse on the internet.” Shikamaru turns to Neji and Sasuke.

“You two are seriously okay with this?” he asks. Neji shrugs and Sasuke clicks his tongue.

“It’s just Tenten,” he replies. Shikamaru wonders if pretty people simply aren’t affected by each other’s nudity the way normal people are. Tenten swipes on deodorant before pulling another one of Sai’s shirts over her head.

“I’m going to go find Sai,” she says, “you can stay in here, not that you assholes were going to ask.”

Tenten doesn’t bother waiting to hear if they have a reply. She walks out of the bedroom and looks around for Sai. Naruto is on the floor, lying on his stomach. On a blanket, the two babies are rolling around on the floor, giggling Naruto’s incoherent babbling. Sakura sits there, ostensibly supervising. Akamaru lies down next to them, and occasionally, he noses at a squealing baby. Tenten can tell by the way Sakura is looking at Naruto that she likes seeing him with babies. Hinata holds the cat while Ino sips her coffee, as they watch Chouji and Lee over the stove. Kiba and Shino are at the table, talking. By now, she figures that all these people know that she is pregnant. She sighs; nothing stays a secret for long.

Tenten crosses her arms and looks around, finally spotting Sai over by the couch. He saw her first; he is already smiling at her. She feels the familiar warm feeling in her stomach, like she has come home, even though, technically, she has been there all along. Sai walks up to her and she puts her hand on his cheek.

“Hinata called me yesterday, but you were asleep when I came back home.” He murmurs.

“It’s fine,” she smiles, suddenly unbothered by the fact that she woke up to their teammates and boss. “Although I was hoping we could screw around a little bit.” Sai makes a face, as if he hadn’t considered this possibility.

“We can do it when they leave.” He says. She smiles.

“Hey, you know we only have thirty more Saturdays to ourselves.” She says. He smiles sheepishly.

“I did the math too.” Tenten bites her smile back, before pressing her mouth to the corner of his, letting him know in her own way that it pleases her immensely to know that she wasn’t the only one counting down the weeks. She already knew this, but it simply affirms that she made the right choice. He is the only one she wants to have this accident with; she can’t wait to meet their alien baby.

**Author's Note:**

> Back on my SaiTen bullshit. This is the epilogue to Roses in a Flatbed, but you really don't need to read it to enjoy this story. I feel done with that world now, but you never know. 
> 
> I'm going to be quiet for the next few weeks. I want to get up ahead on Storms and Half-Knot, and school/work are picking up. I hope to submit and defend my thesis in the fall, so please send me nice thoughts! 
> 
> Thanks for reading this dumb word baby. Feel free to leave a comment (I turn guest comments off if I tag SasuHina; I got one troll comment and thought it would be best to remove the option). 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and stay safe out there!


End file.
